Designer Swimwear in the Winter???

CANADA/FASHION - If you live in Canada or some equally northern country the idea of going swimming in the Winter may sound really ridiculous. ie. Check out our older post about Bikini Skiers.

But lets pretend for a moment that you belong to a gym with a pool... or you have a YMCA membership, who also have pools. Well then, suddenly the idea of wearing designer swimwear in the Winter does not sound so bad... especially if there a cute swim instructor or life guard.

Or maybe you like going to spas where you can luxuriate, or even Women's Retreats in Mexico... Regardless of how and why, its always possible you will be on the lookout for quality swimwear, even though its cold and wintry outside.

Or maybe its BECAUSE its cold outside that you go looking for designer swimwear and a warm place to wear it. ie. Cuba is always nice.

Or maybe you are a supermodel like Devon Owens (see photo on the right) or Adriana Lima. I mention Devon Owens because I like her nose. Its bizarrely cute.

After all its not like the rest of us wear bikinis socially... unless of course we are going to beauty pageants all the time, or perhaps attending beauty school. Note: People often misinterpret what beauty schools actually teach. They do not actually teach people how to be beautiful. What they really teach is cosmetology, the use of cosmetic make-up, hair styling, skin treatments, manicures/pedicures, etc. Its really the safe non-hazardous alternative to liposuction and breast implants.

Anywho, my point is that it is NOT a fashion crime to wear a bikini or other forms of swimwear of the winter. ie. A person could go skiing in their bikini if they were quite daring and then hop in the hot tub soon after.

There are lots of other fashion crimes out there that people can break. Wearing swimwear in the winter is not one of them. Now if you were an ERP software developer and a bit clueless when it comes to fashion maybe you would not even care... you know, the type of person who can watch Big Bang Theory and gets every one of the jokes. Or worse, maybe if you were the type of person who plays Dungeons and Dragons... and therefore is so completely beyond hope.

Although I must admit fantasy artists do include quite a few chainmail bikinis in the artwork... but you realize, that stuff cannot be making very good armour.

(I am not certain what the point of the graphic on the right is about, I just thought it was interesting. Apparently it has something to do with avalanches and windchill effects. The colder and windier it is the less likely there will be avalanches.)

Just like bikinis are not very good at keeping you warm. I recommend wearing a hat, a scarf and some gloves while wearing a bikini outside.

Oh oh oh! I just thought of another way someone might wear a bikini in the winter. Figure skating. Seriously. Those girls must be freezing their assets off.

Oh... and I should mention Winter is actually the best time of year to do two things: #1. Exercise, because you use more energy in the winter as your body tries to stay warm. #2. Go shopping for bikinis. Its the off season so you can get some nice prices.

Padded Bikini Tops For Young Girls?

FASHION - Worried little girls are growing up too fast?

British fashion chain Primark recently stopped selling padded bikini tops for little girls after they were criticized for selling something which sexualizes young girls.

Known more for its cheap price Primark acted quickly after the British newspaper The Sun published a front page story about the product which is aimed at girls as young as 7.

The retailer got in trouble in 2002 for selling thong underwear in children's sizes with the words "eye candy" and "wink wink". Makes you wonder if one of their executives in charge of children's wear is "wink wink"... not normal and enjoys sexualizing little girls.

It reminds me of the preteen beauty pageants some parents in the USA take their kids to... its disturbing.

Which begs the question when is a good cut off line for young women wearing bikinis? 12? 13? 16? I'd argue that if they still have baby fat they're probably way too young.

Its bad enough when 12 year old girls are wearing t-shirts that say SLUT and local governments are increasing sex education at a younger age, but with the internet the issue of predators is an increasing problem.

YIKES! It just feels like the genie is out of the bottle and there's no way to put it back in without sticking a GPS tracking device on your kids. And even then it can be fruitless.

Boycotting all clothes made by Peter Nygard

FASHION - Hello fellow bikini fanatics!

When shopping for bikinis or any other clothes this summer please remember to boycott all clothing made by Peter Nygard.

Reasons:

#1. Peter Nygard is a fashion executive who runs his company like a mini dictatorship. He believes he is "God" and has temper tantrums when people don't do what he tells them to do.

#2. Peter Nygard sues any news agency that says anything bad about him. Very few newspapers or television news companies will say anything about his illegal misdoings because they're afraid of lawsuits and legal intimidation.

#3. Peter Nygard has a slew of people working for him hired especially for maintaining his good reputation. They routinely harass bloggers for saying anything bad about him.

#4. Peter Nygard is 67-years-old and likes having sex with 16-year-old girls. One such girl from the Dominican Republic has since gone missing. She might even be dead. Lawyers for Peter Nygard claim the girl is alive and well and that Peter Nygard treated her well and was a "perfect gentleman". Why would they bother to say that unless they were hiding something?

#5. Peter Nygard's company, Nygard International, has sweatshops overseas. One of the sweatshops in Jordan makes pants for his company and has 1,200 SLAVES trapped inside and not allowed to leave. If they do sloppy work they are beaten and raped. The women were smuggled into Jordan from India, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. The factory workers then stole their passports and kept them prisoners there.

#6. Peter Nygard is currently suing the Fifth Estate documentary company in Canada because they were the only company with the GUTS to stand up to him.

PLEASE BOYCOTT PETER NYGARD. DON'T BUY ANY OF HIS CLOTHES!

UPDATE! THE OLD BOYCOTT PAGE WAS DELETED NO THANKS TO NYGARD'S LAWYERS: Please join the new group at Boycott Nygard's Brands

2010 Bikini Trend Setters

FASHION - Looking to celebrities to try and determine which will be the bikini trends this Summer 2010? Look no further than Lady Gaga, Paris Hilton, Avatar, triangle tops, strapless bikinis, side tie bottoms.

Also don't forget your sarong, the sunglasses, the shoes, the hat, the handbag and some jewelry. Ankle bracelets, stone necklaces, shell jewelry and anything resembling the film Avatar are certainly hot this year.

Meteorlogists are also predicting record-breaking heat this summer so don't forget the sunblock, your hat and carry lots of fluids. I recommend Aloe Juice.

Paris Hilton trying really hard to look cool. Is she yesterday's news yet?



Lady Gaga and her disco ball bikini.



Lady Gaga wearing chains on her bra/bikini.
(Obviously not a good idea to actually swim in.)



Neytiri and Jake swimming together.

Bikini Islanders lose in court

POLITICS - Bikini Islanders, the indigenous people of the Marshall Islands, who sued the United States government years ago for nuclear tests on the islands during the 1940s and 1950s have lost their suit.

The Bikini Islanders is seeking compensation under the Fifth Amendment for the “many resultant indignities they suffered, from the loss of their homes and livelihoods to the horrific effects of radiation poisoning.”

Between 1946 and 1958, the United States detonated 67 nuclear bombs in the Marshall Islands, then a U.S. protectorate under the United Nations. The blasts was equal to exploding 1.6 Hiroshima atomic bombs every day for 12 years. The islands most directly affected were Enewetak and Bikini.

The name "Bikini" was later used to represent the shocking and scandalous swimwear we now all love.

In 1986 the U.S. Congress established a $150 million trust fund to help compensate former residents of Enewetak and Bikini. In exchange for the money, the plaintiffs agreed not to bring suits against the federal government. But they never actually PAID them the money, resulting in another trial years later.

In a 2001 settlement, the government agreed to pay the groups far more than that, promising the people of Enewetak $385 million and the people of Bikini $563 million for the loss of their land.

But again they have yet to receive anything more than a token payment, not the full amount.

In 2008 the United States Court of Federal Claims, dismissed the suit saying the Bikinis had missed the 6-year statute of limitations and that they had filed too early because Congress could still act and give them money.

So... they waited too long, but acted too early. Huh?

In other words the United States government is so cheap they're using a legal loophole so they don't have to pay up.

Shocked? I'm not. The U.S. government is a bunch of cheap bastards with no intelligence or honour whatsoever. They took an island paradise and destroyed it.

Red Sonja delayed until 2011

ENTERTAINMENT - Due to delays in production a new version of the film Red Sonja (featuring a bikini-chainmail clad, sword wielding Rose McGowan) has been delayed until 2011. It was originally supposed to come out in 2009.



While it may look good on Rose McGowan, I don't recommend it as beachwear.